Don Miguel Ruiz wrote a book called The Four Agreements (A Toltec Wisdom Book). The book outlines four agreements that ancient southern Mexican men and women practiced. They were known as "women and men of knowledge."
The author describes how Mexican men and women of knowledge viewed the world around them and life itself very differently. Their outlook on life gave them the courage and strength to live lives that were full of joy and rid their lives of drama and daily anxieties.
They believed that the world in which we live in is a dream. Each person is a mirror. Humans themselves are pure loving light. The dream or the world is simply smoke that does not allow us to see what we really are. Confusion in life comes from the wall of fog or smoke between the mirrors made by the interpretations of the images of light: the dreams of humans.
"...I am looking at myself in all of you, but we don't recognize each other because of the smoke in-between us. The smoke is the dream, and the mirror is you, the dreamer." (page xix)
The dream of the planet is the collective dream of billions of smaller, personal dreams. The dream of the planet is made up of a planet that includes all of society's rules, its laws, beliefs, religions, its different culture and ways to be.
The outside dream has so many rules that when a new human is born, we hook the child's attention and introduce these rules into his or her mind. Attention is simply the ability we have to discriminate and to focus only on that which we want to perceive. As we develop a need for attention we can become very competitive.
The outside dream hooks our attention and teaches us what to believe, beginning with the language we speak. Language is the code for understanding and communication between humans. Every letter, every word in each language is an agreement. The only way to store information is by agreement. As soon as we agree, we believe it, and this is called faith.
Don Miguel Ruiz describes domestication of humans. This is a process by which the outside dream is translated to the inside dream and a whole belief system is created.
Through this belief system Don Miguel Ruiz describes how man is destroyed through contradicting agreements learned and internalized from birth. With these agreements people begin to judge others based how well they follow rules. Those that do not follow rules are punished and when the rules are followed rewards are given. A need to hook other people's attention in order to get a reward develops. A fear is created: the fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough.
All the agreements we have made for our existence must be broken so that we can break free of the prison in our minds. To replace all other agreements there are four simple agreements that are made that if followed can lead to a fulfilling life and freedom in our own dream.
The first agreement is be impeccable with your words. This agreement is the agreement that all others stem off of. It focuses on how humans use language. Words are incredibly powerful and when used become black or white magic. The author calls these words magic because when we use our words we place spells on people. They can choose to believe our words and internalize them: in turn making an agreement or they can choose to reject them by not believing them and not making an agreement. When someone believes in our words and makes an agreement, we have hooked their attention.
To understand being impeccable with our words, it is important to note what the word "impeccable" means: from the Latin word pecatus meaning sin and im means without. Sin is really anything that is said, done, felt, or believed against ourselves. When we choose to be impeccable with our words, we take responsibility for our actions, and do not judge or blame ourselves.
In this way we can understand that our words, all words, any words, that come out of our mouths are creating agreements with others and with ourselves. Our word choices will make or break us and in the same way words we choose to listen to will make or break us. The key here is that we are conscious in the process of choosing the words we speak and we take an active role in what words we value and internalize.
In chapter three of Language, the social mirror, by Chaika, she defines the word style. Style is defined as "different modes of communicative strategy that create a communication system in its own right, one that determines how a social interaction will proceed, or if it will proceed at all. Style is bound up with our presentation of self, the image we convey to others. Interactants mutually apply style both to guide and manipulate others." (pg 55)
The style or way in which we choose to communicate, including word choice, shows others and the self the agreements we have made with ourselves. When we actively engage in a shared style with other people we are expressing shared agreements. If someone approaches us with hostility: in an angry and vile style of communicating, and we reject their words and refuse to make an agreement with what they have said, we are communicating in a different style. In order to communicate one party will have to conform to the other parties style, otherwise communication can not successfully occur. This means that if we refuse to communicate in their style (refuse to believe in their words and make agreements) they must change their style to meet ours or there will be no communication.
As I understand it, our communicative style is how we outwardly express agreements we have made with ourselves on the inside. We can choose to be impeccable with our words, not using styles of communicating that go against our internal spirit, and aligning our inside world with our outside world.
What are agreements you have made with yourself over the years of your life that are destroying the person you are? What styles are you communicating with others and what agreements are you expressing to others when you use those styles?
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